I Am A Yoga Girl - Mathilda Sundström

I am a yoga girl because I breathe. Every single day I take more breaths then I can count. Every day I chose to live.

I have had many chances to stop. Just give up and stop breathing, but I always chose to keep moving forward, to keep breathing. Some days I move so slow that a turtle could out-run me, but I am moving. I am still fighting, I haven't given up. Every single day I live the consequences of someone else's mental illness. Every day I have to remind myself that I am here for me, I am living just for myself. I am not here to please someone else or to fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed. I am breathing just for me and that's why I'm a yoga girl.

Life is a big great and wonderful adventure, but it can also be hard and though. I have differnt tools that help me get through both the good and bad times. Tools to help you get up in the morning. Tools that make you smile. For me, yoga is a tool for survival. It helps me breath steady when it feels like the world around me is crumbling. It helps me sweat when all I want to do is run away from life, people and even myself. It helps keep me grounded when I risk getting so lost in my own head that I could disappear forever. It helps me find my breath when I forget how to breathe.

I have had to learn the hard way that you can't heal someone else's mental illness. I can't fix everything and make everything better. What I can do and what I have done is almost lose myself on the path trying. Taking care of everybody but myself. Forgetting that to me the most important person should be myself, not everybody else. To be able to do anything for someone else you first have to do everything for yourself. If you are fighting for everyone else, who is fighting for you? I have had other people fight for me when I was too weak to do it myself. But that was a beautiful thing because those people didn't give me so much of themselves that they in return got destroyed too. They just gave me what I needed while still taking care of themselves. And that is my goal. To be strong enough so that I can help people I want to help because I feel they really need it while still making sure that I am doing great.

I don't want to become that shell of a person I once was again, especially for someone else. I am a fighting yoga girl, who every day tell myself that I am awesome just for breathing. I am the greatest by just getting out of bed. Even if I do absolutely nothing all day I have still had an amazing day because I did it for myself because I needed to do nothing to feel good again. I am a fighting yoga girl who is so grateful for every breath I take every single day.