5 Ways to Love Yourself First and Live Your Life for YOU

Two truths have changed my life:

1. You can’t know love, and give love, if you don’t love yourself first. If you try, it won’t be pure or unconditional.

2. You’re here for a specific purpose that only you have. It makes zero sense to live anyone else’s life but your own!

I have a message for you, and I ask that you read it until the words vibrate your bones. Here it is:

You gorgeous human being, you. You are SO fucking beautiful. Drop-dead, head-turning, word-stumbling gorgeous. You are so beautiful, in fact, you may not even be able to comprehend it. Every inch of you, every fold, every edge, every arch and round of your body is so unbelievably perfect.

You are good enough. You are so very enough! There is never a need for you to question your worth or your value or your beauty. You are so fucking perfect, inside and out.

You're perfectly flawed and flawlessly perfect and there is nothing--absolutely nothing--you have to change about who you are.

So… Act like it. Live like it. OWN IT!

Repeat the words above until you can feel them begin pulsing with your own magical heartbeat. Come home to yourself. Then, read these 5 ways to fall back in love with yourself and your life.

1. MAKE YOUR OWN RULES.

God lives in wild, reckless abandon of structure. Shake things up. Say yes when you normally say no. Say no when you normally say yes. Break all the rules. Follow your intuition. Talk to strangers. Laugh out loud. Dance in the grocery aisle like you don't give a fuck.

Yell at the ocean. Hug a tree. Cry when you feel like it. Be naked more. Buy yourself flowers. Eat whatever the hell you want.

Quit your job. Start a new one. Speak your mind. Fall in love.

You were born a free spirit. Unlock the cage and set yourself free!

2. FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL.

Some days, I just want to scream at the ocean.

When I feel, I really feel. A lot. A lot and right away. I can't push things down below the surface anymore. I don't want to. No more smiling to assure others, no more pretending, no more saying "I'm fine" when I'm not.

I was so happy and at peace every day after coming home from my first Path of Love, I almost forgot that feeling sadness is a part of being me, too. It's all there. Emotions come and go, and the natural thing is to act them out. But we live in a world where this is not encouraged. We're taught to "keep it together", to put on a happy face, to soldier on. Well... I call bullshit!

I did a Dynamic meditation one morning. I spent ten minutes beating the shit out of my yoga bolster. It felt amazing. And then I danced. When I finished and walked into the kitchen, my phone was waiting with some horrible event that happened (not mine), and then more difficult news to digest (not mine), and I felt so overcome with sudden sadness I had to drop down on the floor and cry until there was nothing left to cry about.

Because... That's how it works. Tears arrive. And then they stop. Anger arrives. And then it leaves. Letting these things surface so they can RELEASE is the key to happiness. I swear--this is true.

So, I finished crying, splashed my face with cold water, put on a colorful dress and five minutes later I was in a meeting, laughing. For real.

Feel what you feel. Not much is more important to your well being than that.

3. GIVE LESS FUCKS.

Here’s my top life tip, from me to you: give less fucks about what everybody else thinks. Give more fucks about what YOU think. Do YOU like your job, your social circles, your outfit, your life??

If something doesn’t feel absolutely divinely aligned and boosting to your entire spirit, change it.

Care more about how YOU feel, and spend less time worrying about how you’re perceived. People see you through the lens of who they are--their judgment of you is a reflection of them, not you. Send them love, then let that worry go.

Also, spend more time saying fuck. Because, why the fuck not?

4. SHIFT YOUR FOCUS FROM IMPOSSIBLE TO IT’S POSSIBLE.

Spend more time thinking about all the ways you can make your elevating mark on your family, your job or the world ⁣⁣than you do thinking about how or why you cannot do it. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Just because someone else did something doesn’t mean you lost your chance. Put your own spin on it! The world is full of possibilities, and there is enough abundance and success to go around.

Stop spending so much time focused on the obstacles! Whatever you’re dreaming of, envision it in its full creation. See it completed. Manifested. Fulfilled. Act from a place of trust rather than doubt. ⁣ ⁣ And of course... Work your butt off. Every step of the way. ⁣⁣

5. TALK TO YOURSELF LIKE YOU TALK TO YOUR BESTIE.

When was the last time you paid yourself a genuine compliment? We love supporting our best friends with encouragement, but then we turn around and put our own selves down or wait until someone else tells us how amazing we are. It’s insanity!

We are so conditioned to speak negatively to ourselves, both out loud and in our own heads. Change the conversation you’re having with and about yourself! Focus on the good and you’ll find more of it.

I looked in the mirror this morning, straight in the eye, and said this out loud:

“*I am STRONG--in both my body and in my heart.⁣ I am CREATIVE as hell--I can dream anything up and make it happen. ⁣ I am COMPASSIONATE--I feel so much, for so many.*” ⁣ These are just some of my good qualities. I know there are many more, and I’m not ashamed to say it! How ridiculous it is that anyone should ever feel shame for recognizing what makes them who they are.

Don't forget that you are beautiful. And valuable. And human. And so, totally on the right track. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Trust. Trust!

Now, you go. Share three awesome qualities about yourself below. In capital letters!

X,

Rachel